Dr Perpetua Neo

Your Flesh & Blood Moment: Finding the story that powers your change

When my friend told me how he only buys chicken fillets, handling them gingerly with a fork and scissors, I wanted to hug him. A kindred spirit! Those who have dined at my table will be puzzled. They think I’ve tumbled down the culinary rabbit hole. Of chilli crab in a rich peanut sauce, dark chocolate & cumin lentils, thyme & lemon salt roast pork tenderloin, king prawn and sesame oil chawan mushi, kangaroo burgers with a summer berry & red onion relish.

What I easily whip up on the beach

But I never touched raw flesh until 18. Why? At 2, I visited a wet market and fainted. I love spiders, snakes and being dangled 100-feet. But the look, smell and feel of flesh and blood? Here’s how everything changed.

How a cat can change your life

Finally Home marks the stormy day my cat left the SPCA. Also one of the happiest days of my life. A year later, I decided to cook for her. But I couldn’t handle raw prawns. The absurdity dawned. Frustration ensued. I call it my Flesh & Blood Moment.

The bile rose as I paced around the kitchen. Like a distressed animal in a tiny zoo enclosure. An hour later, 7 prawns were finally in the bowl. Then came the deshelling. The smell induced nausea. My stomach curdled as I touched the gelatinous flesh. Alot of cussing interspersed with muttering “I must really love her a lot” later, dinner was served. King prawns, in a rich broth with a sprinkling of parsley. Her Royal Highness lapped it up. As she licked around her mouth and looked at me, I knew it was worth it. I’d cook more for her. 

It took me 6 months to slay my fear. But back then, I knew lots about Mango sales and animal adoptions, and zilch about psychology or habit change. Still, I exposed myself. I’d at least stand by the sink when very-fishy-smelling seafood thawed. I’d inhale. My legs quivered, but I held on to my Flesh & Blood MomentToday, I’ve gutted crabs, butchered meat, rolled mince to make meatballs. All without gagging. It’s as easy as washing my hair. And when I look back, I know that my Flesh & Blood Moment kept me going.

Your Flesh & Blood Moment

Flesh & Blood Moments are powerful. For a woman who smashed a bottle of wine and destroyed her computers. A man who walked in on his wife and best friend post-coitus, mocking him for being ’so wimpy and useless’. A father, who read his 4-year old’s diary, “Daddy drinks everyday. He shouts. Mommy cries. I’m scared”. An administrator diagnosed with lung cancer, despite her obsessive Green Juice Drinking, By-the-Book rules to living.

Standing there, in the detritus of the aftermath. That moment where you can’t escape. It stares you in the eye. You gingerly lift your head to look at it. And fear, hope, anger, absurdity, sadness, joy wash over you. When you face the rawness, you connect with every other lifeform who’s done that. It’s a potent hit of Lucidity. And something dawns. 

The woman decided her samba with anger had to stop. The man realised he’d to stand up for himself and walk tall. The father was jolted into ending his addiction. The administrator vowed she’d say “yes” to herself.

Know your story, change your life

So I’ll ask you this. In that thing you want to change, what is your Flesh & Blood Moment?

Write it out for yourself. Remember what happened. How you felt. Where it registered in your body. Etch your story into your mind and every cell of your being. Let your Flesh & Blood Moment carry you through your journey of change. Especially during the times you feel like you’ve hit an iceberg, are lost at sea, and had to detour. May your Flesh & Blood Moment be the life-force that powers you.

Ready for major change in your life? Book your free Chemistry Call here

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