Craig felt more and more like a fraud. Years of success, a flashy car, and a beautiful family should have solved that. With every contract signed and award won, Craig’s thoughts- “I’m lying”, “It’s a waste of time”- would play on loop. They grew louder everytime he suppressed them. “I need a drink”, he thought. And that’s what he’d do.
If you don’t dig deep into your mind, you’ll feel helpless when it trips you up. And you won’t know what really drives you. It’s not enough to just know your thoughts that pop up. For Craig, it wasn’t about lying or wasting time. You see, nobody knew that Craig really loved books and penning his musings. Instead, he was the egregious personality who knew how to have a good time.
Craig knew it was a facade. Along the way, he became dependent on drinking and a random assortment of powders. But why didn’t Craig come out of his closet, you ask. Craig had an idea- an assumption- that if people knew the real him, they wouldn’t like him. And so he observed what made people flock to some like bees to the honeypot. Or flies to the cesspit, as he wryly quipped. And he donned his Magnet Facade- costume, facepaint and wig.
As a young boy, Craig questioned why babies die, people suffer, and animals get skinned alive. He watched the world around him, and penned his thoughts. Craig didn’t fawn on teachers and popular kids, or own trendy things. He saw no point in that. So he was singled out as ‘the strange one’ and ‘the sissy faggot’. At 12, Craig moved abroad. It was his chance to start afresh. No more writing. No more being strange. To be loved, he had to deny himself.
Craig’s core beliefs drove his life. Yet his Operating System (OS) was run by a belief from ages ago. Created by unfortunate circumstances involving ignorant children. And like Craig, our young undeveloped minds formed conclusions that we’re unaware of. So we walk our lives with an OS that’s been outdated for years. It’s not our fault. There’s no blame.
But here’s a thought. You update the OS of your phone, computer and tablets. Perhaps it’s time to update your mind’s OS too.
Ready to update the OS of your mind so you can master your time, mind and energy? Book your free Chemistry Call here.