Karla’s hands grew clammier. “I’m going to have a full-on panic attack, these people are going to laugh at me. I can never show my face on this train line again”. Her mind raced through the different options of getting to work– none. Her breathing became shallower as she burst into tears and alighted at the next stop, unable to stomach the thought of another 30 minutes on the train.
Gerard was an hour late for work. He was halfway there when he spotted a hairdryer in the window display. “Oh God, I forgot to turn off my hairdryer. The house will catch fire”, he thought. Despite the fact that he’d checked his windows, doors and electric sockets for two hours that morning. Being served his fourth late warning that week didn’t deter him from going home to check.
In clinical terms, Karla has panic attacks. Gerard has obsessive-compulsive disorder. These diagnoses help us to understand their experiences better. But there’s no denying. These experiences are paralysing. They disrupt our lives. And we feel bad about what happens.
When healthy anxiety becomes Anxiety-On-Steroids
We all experience shades of anxiety in our lives. Like the way our liver is built to break down alcohol or our pupils to control how much light enters our eyes, anxiety protects us. It prepares us for action or to avoid an outcome. Picture Gerard’s story. Checking his house was always a five-minute ritual to ensure that everything was safe. Back then, he’d think “if I don’t check my switches, my hairdryer might be left switched on. There could be a risk of fire.”
During times of high stress, when something’s difficult happened, or when we’ve done something we’re ashamed of, our anxiety can morph into Anxiety-On-Steroids. That’s when the thought “If I don’t check my switches” is immediately fused with “the house will definitely catch fire”. We become so caught up with how we’re feeling and so convinced that the outcome in our head is affirmative. Our anxiety becomes a well-vascularised muscle, and with time, a five-minute ritual magnifies to two hours.
Catastrophe Brain! Why do you condemn yourself to the worst possible outcome?
At the same time, here’s the question I ask my clients, “Why do you condemn yourself to the worst possible outcome?” Outcomes like fires, embarrassing ourselves, and being ill. When we’re so convinced of these outcomes, our stress response kicks into overdrive. We’re not thinking straight, We hate the way we feel. It’s overwhelming. My clients pause, saying they’d never thought about it that way. And then they answer, “Because I deserve bad things”.
If this is your story, I wish it wasn’t the case. Here’s the thing. Sometimes we bear the weight of the world on our shoulders, beyond what is humanly possible. We expect ourselves to be strong and invincible, and we’re ashamed of the times we fail to live to those standards. We beat ourselves up for the things we’ve done and failed to do.
No matter what you’ve done and no matter what’s happened, you don’t deserve to condemn yourself to the worst possible outcomes. You deserve better outcomes– part of why I love my work so much is because it’s ultimately about helping people to remember that they’re worthy.
Start with a little kindness
So if you have panic attacks like Karla, remember the worst outcomes like making a fool of yourself or having a full-on panic attack may not happen. You won’t faint– it’s not possible, because when your heart races your blood pressure is high. Often, focusing on the worst outcomes and telling yourself to “stop being silly” will make you feel worse. How about starting with a little kindness? Because you deserve it.
If Gerard’s story sounds familiar– and you’ve checked your house before leaving– how about you give yourself permission to have a little faith in yourself. It’s not easy, I know. But the more you practise, the easier it becomes. Because you’re worth it.
Everytime you feel compelled to think the worst, breathe. Then ask yourself, “Why do I condemn myself to the worst possible outcome?
And remember this, you’re worthy of good outcomes. Your anxiety muscle that leaps your brain into a catastrophic outcome wasn’t always this strong
You can have power over your mind. Hang in there. Book your free Chemistry Call here.