This is a guest post by Via Abolencia
“It seems like the stage is your home.”
I’d just finished introducing an event in front of 300 people and my friend whispered these words to me as I sat down.
At that moment, it felt true. I felt calm, confident, and sure of every word that came out of my mouth as my voice projected over the surround-sound speakers that covered every corner of the venue.
But there was an incongruence to that truth: I was – and sometimes still am – someone who overthinks my words before speaking, feels nervous before a speech, and would rather be the one listening than hooked up to a mic.
How can I be someone who seems like I’m “at home” on a stage when I still feel nervous about public speaking?
When I try to pinpoint when this transformation happened, I realized that I never went through a transformation at all. Instead, I rise to the occasion when necessary. The only reason I’m able to let go of my public speaking fears is because whenever I do have something to say, my conviction and belief in my words is stronger than my fear.
There is no faking it to make it. There is only telling the truth.
I believe so much in authenticity being the antidote to the fear of public speaking that I became a Storytelling & Communications Coach helping senior leaders, entrepreneurs, and creatives to become memorable influencers through storytelling.
I’ve worked with many clients and their worries are universal:
“I’m worried I’ll ramble and what I say won’t sound right.”
“I get nervous when people are silently watching. It puts me off because I don’t know what they’re thinking.”
“When I get overwhelmed, I just shut down.”
These fears are common. In fact, public speaking ranks high on the list of common fears, alongside heights and spiders. But notice, all of these fears are self-focused.
Many coaches teach public speaking techniques that make the speaker feel comfortable. Power poses, a specific type of tone to sound “authoritative”, or choosing the right outfit.
While this is important, there needs to be just as much emphasis on what makes the audience engaged, and that requires redirecting focus from the speaker to the listener.
To be memorable and compelling, the speaker must care about providing value to the audience. And the easiest way to add value is to make the audience feel a personal connection.
The higher up and more visible you are in your career, the more degrees of separation there are between you and your audience. This is why communicating with authentic stories becomes even more important.
Whether it’s for a keynote speech, an investor pitch meeting, or social media content, the intention is always to share authentic stories that make you relatable, trustworthy, and memorable.
Here is the exact process I use to help my clients create compelling stories that focus on emotionally-resonant language to create stories that stick.
Understand your personal narrative
You first have to understand your own story. What are the key events and experiences that have shaped you? I have clients do an exercise where I ask them to describe the key moments they often replay in their heads. The moments they can’t stop thinking about.
These are the events that have shaped someone’s internal dialogue, and thus, shape their understanding of the world. The difficult part for most clients is learning how to separate the internal dialogue that is their authentic voice from the words they’ve internalized from other people.
Once you unearth your true personal narrative and are able to articulate it in your authentic voice, you’ve done most of the work necessary to tell a compelling story.
Identify core themes from your life
When you’ve come up with a few different events that can be used as story topics, themes start to emerge. People tend to hold on to strongly held beliefs and so it makes sense that these beliefs would guide their actions to create recurring themes throughout their life. Label those themes and reflect on what guided you to those life choices.
Align themes with universal needs and values
Universal needs and values are what every person can connect with. We all need community, autonomy, clarity, and hope. We all value connectedness, a sense of belonging, freedom, and importance.When you dig deep into your life’s core themes, it’s likely that a few different needs and values will pop up. The key to crafting an engaging story is to start from a need or value that is universally felt by everyone, and then use the specifics of your personal narrative to add color to the message.
Make your stories relatable
The best storytellers know their audience well. Almost better than the audience knows themselves. Fine-tune your message using examples, words, and phrases that you know would resonate with your audience. The more specific, the better. Relatability leads to memorability, and memorability leads to impact.
Give value that addresses your audience’s problem
Lastly, remember that engaging stories are audience-centric. You must provide your audience some sort of value. It can be inspiration, a lesson learned, or even a new skill or perspective. When you’re on stage, you’re in the position of giving. The audience is there to receive something you have that you believe is worthwhile. One of the best comments I’ve ever received from an audience member after speaking on stage is “you made me feel like you were speaking directly to me.” And her seat was in the second-to-last row! Essentially, this is the best definition of what memorable storytelling is. It’s a conversation between the speaker and the audience that makes every audience member feel like that speaker is talking directly to them.
Most people find it difficult to notice and listen, but one of the core superpowers of anxious achievers is their heightened senses around noticing others around them and picking up on cues. When storytelling on a stage or board room, these are superpowers. These tips along with the pure belief in your message are what will inject confidence in you while telling others your authentic story.
Via Abolencia is a Storytelling & Communications Coach for business leaders, entrepreneurs, and creatives. Their goal is to help good people become memorable voices in their industry by bulletproofing their story and personal brands so they can create a network that is loyal to them in a continually changing market. Via received their MBA & MPH from UC Berkeley. Have an upcoming keynotes speech? Click here for a Storyboarding Guide. To learn more about storytelling with Via, reach out through the Personal Storybranding Program linked here.